I want to talk about the importance of using appropriate communication techniques. Whether you are talking to your spouse or your boss, the same factors apply. My wife worked on a Federal grant promoting relationship skills education. I have tried to learn from her and I have found that these lessons apply equally well at work as they do in a marriage.
Invalidation is a process by which a spouse, supervisor or coworker, upon hearing a new idea or suggestion, proceeds to ridicule it, criticize it, and openly or subtly demeans the person making the suggestion. Be on the watch for invalidation. Some people do it constantly without realizing it.
The opposite of invalidation is active listening. Make sure you have heard and UNDERSTOOD what the other person is saying before you start to criticize it. And if you do have a criticism, make sure that you are criticizing the IDEA, not the person.
Invalidation can crush creativity in an organization. Think about it; if you are constantly ridiculed for your ideas, how likely is it that you will keep offering them?
Very good post!, makes you wonder how many of us use that same thing on our own children.
ReplyDeleteThe last part really rings true doesn't it??